MASTURBATION
JOIN
FRONT
PAGE
SUBSCRIBE FREE
RADIOSUZY1TV
.THERAPY
SmARTLINKS
PHONE
SEX THERAPY
SmARTLINKS
RADIO
& TV
SmARTLINKS
EROTIC
TRAVEL
-
Libertine Clubs of
Cannes
SmARTLINKS
EROTICA
EROS CARNAVAL
Annie Body:
Geyser of Desire
SmARTLINKS
PRESS OFFICE
-
SmARTLINKS
ART -
-
SmARTLINKS
THE BOUDOIR
SmARTLINKS
DATING
SmARTLINKS
PHONE SERVICES
MASTURBATION
Come, Let Us Play…
CONTINUED
from page
1
Video Still Self-Portrait:
Dr. Susan Block
Despite millennia of anti-masturbation mania, there does exist some positive folklore on the natural wonders of whacking off. According to the Greeks, masturbation was a divine gift. Hermes revealed it to Pan, whose love for a nymph was unrequited, demonstrating how stroking off could be a superb rape prevention technique. Pan then taught the shepherds (for which the sheep must have been grateful), The Greek philosopher Diogenes praised the extraordinary physical efficiency of masturbation, "Would to heaven that it were enough to rub one's stomach in order to allay one's hunger."
Mark Twain, in between penning literary masterpieces, spoke of masturbation with satiric yet compassionate, truthtelling eloquence: "to the lonely it is company; to the forsaken it is a friend; to the aged and impotent it is a benefactor; they that are penniless are yet rich, in that they still have this majestic diversion."
Then there's Truman Capote: "the nice thing about masturbation is you don't have to dress up for it." Come as you are.
.VIDEO
PHOTOS: XAM
But self-pleasuring taboos never die; they just mutate with the times. Now, instead of fearing masturbation will make us blind, we worry that it will brand us as lonely or desperate, or as a pathetic, oversexed "sex addict."
Of course, you can become addicted to masturbation. Anything really good in life is addictive. Jerkin' your own gherkin can be so damn convenient that you don't want to bother with the rigors of dating, or communicating with your spouse, or whatever hurdle you'd have to jump in order to have partner sex. Physically speaking, you can get so accustomed to the rhythm of your own hand, or the megabuzz of your vibrator, that you prefer masturbation to making love.
Then again, self-love is a kind of love. And sometimes, especially after a bad break-up, or when you're sick, or stressed, or physically separated from your lover, it's the best kind of love.
So, shake that shame and shimmy, Brothers & Sisters! Give yourselves a hand…Celebrate the Month of May!
If you can't manage to shake your shame, you can always eroticize it. You probably do this anyway. Sex is intrinsically perverse in our anti-sex society, and many of us need to feel bad to feel good. The naughtier we feel about masturbating, the better masturbation feels. Take it from a sex therapist: People that grow up tortured by religious dicta against "self-abuse" often become some of the world's most avid masturbators. .
So, how about you, Brother Jack and Sister Jill? Will you testify? How does it feel when you masturbate? Is it wild? Is it wonderful? Is it weird? Is it just a great relief? Do you get a mystical, spiritual sense of fulfillment? A primitive, animal sense of contentment? Does it give you energy - or put you to sleep? Does it make you feel alone? Or like an ecstatic link in the Great Chain of Sexual Being? Does it make you feel powerful? Peaceful? Beautiful? Bountiful? Biological? Do you masturbate to be safe, or do you do it for the danger? Do you enjoy an audience, or would you rather be the audience? Do you like to use props? Vibrators? Dildos? Erotica? Porn? Phone sex? Bondage gear? Aromatic oils? Special music? Fetish objects? How do you touch yourself? Quick strokes or long? One hand or two? Lube or natural juices? What do you think about when you masturbate? Do you fantasize, or do you just feel the sensations? Do you feel great right up until orgasm, then feel guilty, sinful, silly, lonely? Or do you feel even better after you've come, as you float down a stream of natural bliss?
Whatever our feelings about it, masturbation is almost always our first sexual activity. Even in utero, we touch ourselves for relaxation and pleasure. As babies, we play with all parts of ourselves, but our genitals are especially exciting, because of the intensity of sensation.
Thanks to my own Dr. Spock-influenced Mom, I didn't grow up too inhibited about masturbation. Like most kids, I started playing with myself at around the time I started playing. Not that my mother approved of my masturbating. But she did, at least, put up with it. That is, she didn't punish me for it, just warned me to cool it in public, like when she caught me holding the sprinkler under my crotch on the front lawn, or sliding my hand under my skirt during the duller portions of the Passover Seder.
At least, Mom's pragmatic attitude didn't denigrate my sexuality. "Suzy," she said when she caught me petal pushing, "Stop that.. Your hands are dirty, and it's clean down there." She was right about my hands being dirty, sticky with peanut butter and jelly or something I'd pulled out of my nose. And I will always appreciate her designation of my netherparts as "clean." She wasn't Diogenes or Mark Twain, but at least Mom had a fairly sex-positive way of attempting to regulate my masturbatory activities.
VIDEO SELF-PORTRAIT: DR.
SUSAN BLOCK
Speaking of the positive...It may feel like playing hooky, but masturbation is really very educational. It teaches you about your own body, what kinds of touch arouse you, what positions relax you, what fantasies stimulate you, what props get you hot. It helps you to find your mental and physical rhythm and style for maximum orgasmic pleasure.
Partner sex is more romantic, of course, and usually more meaningful, but it's also more nerve-wracking. Unless you're a total narcissist, you're probably going to concentrate more on your lover's pleasure than your own. During masturbation, you don't have to worry about pleasing or impressing anybody but yourself. That way, you can relax and explore, learning all kinds of stuff about your erotic responses that you can use to become a better lover and a more orgasmic, sexually satisfied person.
If you've never done kegels or PC (pubococcygeus) muscle exercises, masturbation is the perfect time to try them. Like any kind of physical exercise, kegels take practice and concentration, tough to muster when you're making love. Before or during masturbation, you can easily practice squeezing and releasing your PC muscles, making your orgasms longer and stronger, or multiple, and more under your control. Lots of quick-on-the-trigger guys learn to manage their tendency toward premature ejaculation this way. Many young women who can't climax with their also-young, inexperienced lovers experience their first orgasms while petting their own kitties.
That's how I had my first orgasm. Through the power of masturbation! That's right, Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners. It's my turn to testify...
I was 19, in my sophomore year, and I'd never had an orgasm. Oh, I'd had sex several times, mainly with my high school boyfriend, and he'd had plenty of orgasms. But not me. And I'd done plenty of masturbating with those "dirty hands" of mine, but not to orgasm. I did have a few involuntary climaxes when I went horseback riding or did kip-ups in gymnastics class. But no full-fledged voluntary orgasms.
So, I was dating this gorgeous math genius, tall and sensuously lean, with long curly blonde hair and David Hockney blue eyes, a Nordic God in a Yale Crew sweatshirt. The only problem was that he was very shy, and since I was fairly shy too, our evenings tended to be pretty dull. Nevertheless, I was infatuated with his dazzling athletic beauty and dizzying numerical brilliance. And one night, when I let him stay over in my tiny little dormroom in my tiny little single bed, we had sex.
I don't remember much about the sex. I think it wasn't bad, but I know it wasn't orgasmic. When he left in the morning for class, I stayed in bed feeling unsatisfied as usual. Lazily, I stroked myself, picking up where he had left off. I decided I wanted to go *all the way* this time, but didn't know what to do exactly. Also, I felt fairly stupid, embarrassed, dirty. I thought about what Mom had said, and I washed my hands.
Then I slipped back into my tiny little dormroom bed and thumbed through a little booklet that I'd picked up at one of my feminist circles called Liberating Masturbation (now Sex for One) by Dr. Betty Dodson. As my thoughts wandered, so did my hands. I relaxed and breathed deeply like the book instructed, squeezing and releasing my PC muscles, stroking and playing with myself like I'd played since I was a little girl, but this time I pushed myself farther, squeezing and releasing, rubbing and stroking. My thoughts wandered further, to my boyfriend's beautiful hair, those gorgeous eyes looking right through me, his sexy body doing just what I wanted him to do, and nothing else. And I breathed deeper and deeper, squeezing and releasing, wiggling and tickling, poking and pulling, licking my fingers and feeling the power, breathing deeper and deeper, rubbing faster, then slower, then faster, squeezing and releasing, until, lo and behold, the squeezing released, and my senses spun out into orgasm.
My first full-fledged, voluntary orgasm! I remember feeling awed and amazed, as if I'd passed through a rite of passage right there on my tiny little dormroom bed. And of course, I had. I felt as if I'd been given a gift from God, or the Goddess, or Nature, a pure pleasure that I didn't have to work for, didn't cost any money, didn't hurt anybody, didn't pollute anything, didn't have any calories or damage any organs, that was so simple and relaxing, so explosive, yet so gentle. And I remember knowing I was hooked, that at that point, after 19 years of life on earth, I had become orgasmic. I knew that no matter what else happened, the rest of my life would include explosions of pleasure, and that pretty much whenever I wanted, I could experience a little bit of what some people call Heaven right here on God's Green Earth.
Me and My Masturbation Mentor, Dr. Betty
Dodsen .... PHOTO: Dr. Michael Perry
And now here I am, a few million orgasms richer, Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners, wishing you a Merry Month of May! Make love to someone you love tonight, even if that someone is you...And don't forget to wash your hands!
© May 4, 2005, Dr. Susan Block. Dr. Susan Block is a sex educator, host of The Dr. Susan Block Show and author of The 10 Commandments of Pleasure. Visit her main website at http://www.drsusanblock.com. Send all comments, love letters, hate mail, questions, confessions and testimonials to her at liberties@blockbooks.com.
Reprinted
in
return
to page 1 of
MASTURBATION
See
all the hot
stuff you won't
see on TV!
Join us
Backstage!
MASTURBATION
l
SmARTLINKS
SEXUALITY
ETHICAL HEDONISM
M A N I
F E S T O
Dildo Docto
Maxim Ménage-à-Trois
Nude for Zorbacchus
ON VIAGRA
SEX & GOD
FETISH 101
Dr.
Block's Terror Journals
------------------
Sex, Terror, Jerry bin
Foulwill & Raving Castrati
Letters from Pakistan
Photos from
(Old) Afghanistan
Ayatollah Asscraft's
Cover-Up of Minnie Lou
Cockfight at the
Baghdad Corral
A R T . B O M B S
American Libertines for Peace
SADDAM’s SeX Therapist
& The Rape of Free Speech
A LOVE SUPREME
Our Assholes Are Now
Our Own!
The Janet Jackson
B O O B . T U B E
super bowl
Same-Sex Marriage:
Just Say No to
Prohibition
Liberté
Fraternité Egalité
Révolution Plaisir
SmARTLINKS
STREAMING
VIDEO
Want
to See
Your Banner
Here? Call 213.749.1330
or email us
