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Dr. Susan Block's
Dr. Laura Diaries (continued)

October 28, 1998

Wherein I Get the Privilege of
Gazing Upon Dr. Laura's Missing
Nipples, Bush and Tanlines
And, Since I'm Now Publishing Hers,
Feel Obliged to Publish My Own
Old Nude Photos

A guy on the web named "DMan" seems to have downloaded the nude photos of Dr. Laura from IEG's site in those initial early morning, pre-injunction hours, because he e-mailed them to Tod Hunter at AVN who just e-mailed them to me. Wow. Now I have the privilege of gazing upon Dr. Laura the Prophet's pert little nipples, generous auburn bush and rather pronounced tanlines. Much better than with those ugly black censorship bars and balls covering her body like cybergraphic instruments of sadomasochism. It's amazing how excited everyone is to see Dr. Laura naked! We're all acting like little kids who caught the strictest teacher in the school with her panties down. Max announced the arrival of the uncensored photos on the intercom, and Lavonne and I went running and giggling from my office into the Computer Room to see them. Tim immediately turned them into a screen saver for his computer. Max made a collage out of them and framed it. Other e-mails from friends rushed in: "Great news about your nemesis!" "The thundering moral conscience of America is on the Web IN HER BIRTHDAY SUIT!" "Found the Pics of Dr. Laura Doing the 11th Stupid Thing Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives" and "Nude Photos of Dr. Whore-A-Yes! There is a God."

We ogled her nakedness for hours. Lavonne, who's posed nude for professional photographers, criticized some of the shots that do not show Laura's body to its best advantage. Max and I agreed that since these pictures were not professional, but "pseudo-professional," they must not be judged by professional standards.

"She looks very hot, very sexy," declared Max, no fan of Dr. L., but a connoisseur of amateur sex snapshots since he started publishing them in the LA Star, Love and Finger a couple decades ago (actually, around the same time that Laura was posing and "thrashing around like jack rabbits" with Bill). "They look like swinger photos," said Max, "like the amateur porn shots they use to advertise for sex partners."

Swingers or not, most people, especially women, get nude pictures of themselves taken at some point in their lives, often in their late twenties, usually by a photographer who's also an illicit lover, or voyeuristic admirer. The late twenties is the classic time for amateur nude photos, as you're mature enough to be proud of your sexuality, but still young enough to feel in your prime.

As Laura's lover Bill recalls, "She was wandering around my apartment naked, as she often did, and admiring her very fine figure in the mirror…She said, "I'd like you to take some photographs of me the way I am now at the age of 28 so that I can look back one day and see that this is the way I once was." Well, now you can look back, Dr. Laura. We can all look back.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, so quit whining about it! You knew what you were doing when you modeled in the buff for a lover who was not your current husband. As Max said, "Anyone who poses for nude photos knows that the photographer is going to keep copies, and at some point, other people will see them."

"Hey, there's only 10 pictures here!" Lavonne. noticed, "I thought this was Dr. Laura's Dirty Dozen."

Max smiled knowingly. "That's because they're holding back the kinkiest stuff. Like, you know there's got to be a fellatio shot. They'll release that later."

Lasciviously, we speculated on the possibilities, as our eyes traveled over Laura's peaks and valleys, curves and crevices. "Aren't amateur naked pictures great?" said Max. "

I remember when I had my first naked pictures taken. Actually, I was around the age Laura was when she took these," I mused, as I peered up Ms. Moralist's jauntily spread thighs to her cave of pleasure.

" I remember seeing those photos when we were cleaning up your office!" squealed Lavonne as she ran to get them. She spread them out on the desk. I studied my various exposed body parts, sometimes approvingly, sometimes critically, as most of us do when faced with old nude photos of ourselves. I looked into my eyes and saw a young woman exploring her sexuality, sensuous in some shots, powerful, funny or insecure-looking in others. Then I looked into Laura's eyes and saw a similar range of feelings.

Look into your eyes, Dr. Laura! See who you are. Get off your pedestal of hate! Stop bashing and belittling the kind of woman that you yourself are, or at least, have been.

I'm publishing these photos for you, Dr. Laura, because they show a side of you that I actually like and respect. And just to prove that I'm not exploiting your "youthful indiscretion," I'm also publishing eight old nude photos of me (the ones that Lavonne dug up), all taken when I was about your age, somewhere between 28 and 30, a "pseudo-professional porn queen" like you.

Another reason I'm publishing my own photos is that if I don't, someone else will. What with the exposure of the President, then all those Republican Congresspeople, and now Dr. L., it's dig-up-the-evidence-of-your-adversary's-sexual-past time, isn't it?

This is your chance to repent, Dr. Laura! Accept your sexuality and the sexuality of others. Apologize to us all. Or the Block Curse will continue to haunt you.

And here is your chance to see my old (and new) nude photos.

 

Click Here to Enter

November 3, 1998

Wherein the Block Curse Triumphs
On the Web and in the Polls
Against Two of its Adversaries:
Dr. Laura and Ken Starr

Up until now, I have tried to keep my Dr. Laura Diaries and my writings on Ken Starr essentially separate, at least as far as the Block Curse is concerned. But I can’t do it tonight. Within a twenty-four hour period, the Queen of Moralizing Mean has lost her bid to keep her nude photos from the public eye, and the Bully Pornographer-Persecutor has lost his bid to pull down a twice-elected President by his zipper. Yesterday, the judge told Dr. Laura to pack it in, that the Internet is beyond her megalomaniacal control. And tonight, the voters are telling the Starr Trooper Republicans to pack in their attempted Coup d’Twat (as my new friend Joe Conason calls the current impeachment proceedings), that we like our Sex President just fine, thank you, and we won’t be fooled by a flood of pornography accompanied by a thunderstorm of sanctimony.

The Block Curse has triumphed on two fronts! America has spoken!

America has spoken in court and at the voting booth. We have the right to see the Schoolmarmy Mean Queen stripped down to who she really is. And we have the right to keep the Learing Grand Inquisitor out of our bedrooms.

Yes, Virginia, it IS all about sex. No matter what the out-of-touch pundits say, it’s all about sex. It always has been. And the integrity of sex has won in the court and in the voting booth.

Clinton-hating Starr troopers Lauch Faircloth in North Carolina and Alfonse d’Amato in New York have both been soundly trounced by their Democratic opponents! Clinton in-law Barbara Boxer has prevailed in California. It’s a great day for the Democrats. It’s a great day for the Clintons. It’s a great day for sex.

It’s a bad day for Dr. Laura and Inspector Starr, as well as for Newt Gingrich, and all the rest of the neo-puritans who have tried to force this country back to the bad old days of repression and intolerance. Americans have spoken: We want progress. We want freedom from tyranny. We appreciate sexual diversity. We may tune in to moralists like Dr. Laura and Starr—and we do, avidly--just as we avidly watch horror movies. But that’s not the way we want to live our lives.

I got a call today from Celebrity Sleuth. They’re doing an article on the feud between me and Dr. Laura and, of course, running her nude photos. The Block Curse is really rubbing her nose in her own pussy juice now.

For a limited edition print of "Dr. Laura Shacking Up with Dr. Suzy" ($35), numbered and signed by the artist, Max, call 213.749.1330. PUBLISHED OCTOBER 25, 1998


continue to:
Wherein Laura Goes Lite
for TV, Everyone Gets On
The Bash Laura Bandwagon,
& I Get Back Into You

DR. SUSAN BLOCK'S
DR. LAURA DIARIES


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