Dr. Susan Block's
Dr. Laura Diaries (continued)

August 27, 1998

Wherein the Block Curse is
Joined by the Vanity Fair Curse
And Dr. Laura is Exposed as
Not Just the Queen of Mean,
But the Biggest, Tackiest
Hypocrite of the Modern Age

     I just finished reading Leslie Bennetts’ article on Dr. Laura in the September issue of Vanity Fair, and all I can say is “Yes!”  This one’s even dishier and dirtier than Janet Wiscombe’s piece in LA Times Magazine.  The Block Curse is hitting its stride.  Smart journalists across the country are outdoing themselves to bring Dr. Laura down.  As one of my e-mailers, Don(eroticAlien) in Sherman Oaks, California, wrote recently, “My dear Dr. Block, once again, you are ahead of the curve…the whole truth about Dr. Laura that you revealed here on this web page years ago, now hits the mainstream…with Vanity Fair”
 
       Bennetts’ piece is fantastic.  It’s just so loaded with dirt, thrown by friends, former colleagues and ex-lovers of Dr. L. that I feel like I need to take a bath.
 
    Well, the bigger they come, the harder they fall.  Laura’s very über-success has drawn so much attention to her that she can’t hide her tacky little private life like she used to.  Now we get to read all about how Little Ms. Family Values doesn’t speak to her mother or sister.  How Little Ms. Paragon of Virtue had sex with her first radio boss, Bill Ballance, the day they met, which was before she’d even divorced her first husband.  How Little Ms. Moralizer slept with her current husband, Lew Bishop, before he’d gotten divorced.  Of course, I slept with my husband Max when he was just separated, but then I’m not the one who condemns people to hell for “shacking up.”
 
    But the worst stuff is what her old friends and co-workers say about how “evil” she is.  On the air, it’s just her words that are cruel; in real life, the Bitch puts some seriously destructive bite into her bark  An old friend and colleague of hers, Shelley Herman, who used to call her show with fake problems when no one was calling in with real ones, calls Dr. Laura “the most vengeful, evil person…into finding out things about her colleagues and using the information to undermine them.”
 
     Tales of rampant backstabbing, unbridled jealousy, chronic self-absorption, getting co-workers fired, gloating over the misfortunes of others, and just plain personal noxiousness abound.  “Everyone who knows her hates her--and on some level she knows it, “ says psychotherapist and former KFI co-worker Marilyn Kagin, “She is such an evil, vicious human being.  This woman is very ill; her envy is so perverse.  I can’t believe how she hurts people.  I guess even $71.5 million doesn’t heal a wounded psyche.”
 
     Amazing, how that word “evil” keeps popping up from a variety of sources to describe Dr. Laura, isn’t it, dear Diary?
 
     Just as deliciously damning as Ms. Bennetts’ sharply written, dishy-quote-laden prose is Firooz Zahedi’s full-page color photo accompanying the article.   I can’t imagine, dear Diary, how even tasteless Dr. Laura could agree to pose like this, making two scrawny muscles like some sort of scarecrow Valkyrie and sporting a monstrous red skirt that looks like a fire-resistant, family-size puptent, topped off with a French’s Mustard-colored sash and an embroidered strapless top that ought to be wrapped around a pillow in an Albanian junk shop.   There she is, in front of her dreary-looking, multi-million dollar Dream Home, assuming this ludicrous stance that seems to say, “Look at me!  I’m a lunatic!”  Actually, the quote from her in the caption is even sillier:  “By virtue of what I do and how I live, I give evidence of God’s presence on earth.”
 
     Is this God’s idea of a bad joke?  Nah, but it is Vanity Fair’s idea of a good one. Laura has got to be feeling the pain from this.   And all her millions can’t protect her.
 
     Well, she never did apologize to me, did she?  And judging from this article, she’s got lots of folks to apologize to.  Oh, how awful this article must make her feel! And you know she read every word of this one.  I’d almost feel sorry for the pathetic little weasel if she weren’t such a viperous quack.   Little Laura has some serious apologizing to do…
 
     In the meantime, the Block Curse won’t let up.  And now I think I’ll go take that bath.

continue to
Wherein Dr. Laura Spouts Flagrant
Two-Faced Twaddle,  
As I Holler at the TV Set,  
Then Give Her a Bible Lesson 
In The Similarities Between 
King David and President Bill